Is anxiety holding you back at work?

I wrote a blog the other week about how to cope with anxiety. It got me thinking about times in my life when I feel, in retrospect, anxiety really held me back. It’s not always easy to see at the time or to know what to do. I’m not sure I always realised at the time. I knew something wasn’t working, life wasn’t coming together for me in the ways I thought it would, or wanted it to, and I was putting a lot of effort in for not a lot of gain sometimes.

If you’re experiencing feelings of anxiety and you think it could be holding you back in your career or relationships, there is a way through it.

Anxiety can erode self-confidence which can impact on all aspects of life including work and relationships. In day to day terms this could mean missing deadlines, procrastination, tiredness, loss of health generally, over eating or missing meals altogether and disinterest in the things you once enjoyed. You may be pulled to pass over opportunities at work or you might be overlooked for promotion.

Perhaps you realise that you aren’t as confident as you once were and you’d like to understand what’s happened. If we are prone to feelings of anxiety we may opt to stay within a comfort zone that enables us to avoid anxious feelings. Because let’s be honest, it feels pretty scary to have those feelings.

Whilst all this is completely understandable, that approach doesn’t get us to where we want to be in life. I believe life is all about developing the resilience to get out there, grab opportunities and live the kind of life that’s worth living.

If any of the above resonates with you and you would like help to understand what’s going on.  Why not get in touch: talktodialogues@gmail.com

Coping with grief

However inevitable death and dying are the hole left by the loss of someone you love can be immeasurable and the feelings overwhelming.

Grief can be complex depending on the circumstances and relationship dynamics around the death and for each person the length of time to process grief is different.

It can help to create space and time within your day to day life to allow yourself to feel the loss. Scary as that may sound. It might help to develop a ritual or daily routine that incorporates self-care, gentle physical exercise and healthy foods. Develop self-compassion and a nourishing narrative, however challenging. Journal your thoughts and feelings or process through art.

Be patient with yourself, get plenty of rest and take things one day at a time.

Relationships aren’t always straight forward and feelings of grief left over from challenging relationship dynamics can be surprising and challenging.

If you would like help to process grief, please get in touch: talktodialogues@gmail.com

Coping with anxiety

Most people experience some form of anxiety at some time in their lives. The feelings of anxiety that you’re experiencing are your body’s physiological response to a perceived danger. The feelings are very real regardless of whether there is actually a real danger in that moment or not. Your body is remembering and is perceiving danger and responding. Your brain is trying to keep you (the organism) alive when it feels threatened under the perceived danger.

When we understand what’s going on and what’s triggering your anxiety, (and we can learn that through the process of therapy) we can begin to learn new coping strategies for how to cope with it so that it impacts day to day life as little as possible and we can actually begin to live a life worth living. Anxiety can be debilitating.

If you’re struggling with anxiety, you don’t need to struggle on alone. The first step forward is to reach out and find a therapist that you feel comfortable with. Therapy may not always feel comfortable but you should always feel safe with your therapist.

Meanwhile, the following suggestions may help you to cope:

  1. Consider developing a daily routine that includes some form of physical exercise.
  2. Reduce daily alcohol, caffeine, processed sugar intake, recreational drugs and smoking/vaping.
  3. Develop self compassion.
  4. Learn how to breathe. 4,4,4,4.

If you would like to explore your feelings of anxiety talktodialogues@gmail.com

Supervision

Are you looking for a new clinical supervisor in 2023? Many of us stay with the same supervisor for years and there’s comfort in that however, the benefits of changing supervisor are enormous when we think about developing new approaches to our work, continuing professional development and exploring new opportunities.

If you feel like you would like to try a relational approach to clinical supervision, view my supervision page or send me an enquiry and we can arrange a no obligation, free of charge chat on the phone about your supervision needs in 2023.

What’s coming up?

Nothing Changes, If Nothing Changes:

This programme is suitable for anyone who is ready to make a change and learn new coping strategies for a life worth living. Whether it’s recreational drugs, alcohol, or something else that’s been your ‘go to’ when life feels difficult, now could be a good time to invest in you and the life you really want to live.

This is a 12 week Individual programme exclusively created for you. 100% commitment. required.

This course is discrete, confidential and personalised. It conveniently fits around your work/life commitments, unlike residential programmes.

You’ll set the goal and we’ll focus on the solutions.

You’ll learn new skills that you can use long after the course has ended.

You’ll receive 24-7 dedicated contact with your therapist for the duration of the course.

Talk to me today and start whenever you’re ready: talktodialogues@gmail.com

Therapy Group: Small Group Therapy: 12 week rolling course.

This group meets weekly in Hebden Bridge on a Tuesday afternoon at 1:30pm until 2:30pm.

To express an interest, find out about dates or to sign up please email: talktodialogues@gmail.com.

If you’re in need of some inspiration, give this a watch…

I often invite clients to consider some form of physical activity to compliment the work they’re doing to boost their mental health. It’s often hard to find the time to prioritise our own needs over those of others so if you’re looking for a little inspiration, give this ad a watch X

Tips to help you through Co Parenting with an ex over the festive period

This time of year can be especially challenging for ex couples who are embarking on co-parenting as a result of a relationship breakdown. The following tips can help parents navigate their way through a potentially challenging time of the year so that everyone- especially the children can have a stress free festive season where they get to spend quality time with their parents.

  1. Put your differences aside– Rise above! Despite your personal feelings and all the water under the bridge, put your feelings aside and try to ensure that your children do not feel the stress of your relationship breakdown.
  • Plan ahead– think about your plan and make arrangements in advance, checking in with the other parent. Do not ask your children to choose. Decide what’s fair for you both.
  • Communicate– either via phone or face to face and follow it up with an email. That way you have something in writing for you both to refer to. No miscommunications and your children don’t have to relay plans to the other parent.
  • Be respectful to the other parent- don’t talk about the other parent’s shortcomings in front of the children. We all have them and there’s a reason (or reasons) why you two aren’t together anymore, your child doesn’t need to have to deal with listening to that. Say what you want to anyone who will listen, but don’t involve your kids.
  • Be equal parents– kids need boundaries to feel secure and it’s not fair f one parent opts to play the fun one all the time. This can result in the other parent feeling as though they have to hold firmer boundaries and play the tough parent. Not good for anyone as it can lead to an imbalance in the relationship for your child and resentment on the part of the parent.
  • Try mediation- it can help you draw up a workable plan for you both to refer to. You could talk together about consistency of parenting, boundary holding, consequences, household chores, contact with the other parent. And so much more.
  • Counselling– if you’re finding that you’re becoming over whelmed by strong negative feelings that are getting in the way of you parenting your child (ren) equally, counselling can help you.

Remember: What’s important here is that your children feel happy, secure and loved by you both.

If you would like to speak to me please email: talktodialogues@gmail.com

“Orange the World- End Violence Against Women Now!”- UNiTE campaign.

This month, on 25th November, The UN’s 16 Days of Activism against Gender based Violence begins because nearly 1 in 3 women have been abused in their lifetime and in times of crisis this increases.

Abuse is any act, incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour. Whether physical, emotional, financial or sexual. Regardless of who is committing it. Men use violence far more than women to fulfil a need for power and control.

“When men stop using power and control over women and girls, women and girls will live without fear of violence and abuse”

Violence against women and girls needs to be prevented. It can be prevented by rejecting social norms and creating a more equal society:

  1. Education and awareness raising around stereotypical ideas and behaviours
  2. Demand an equal sharing of household tasks
  3. Respect everyone equally
  4. Question and draw attention to incidences of Cat Calling and street harassment
  5. Demand perpetrators be held accountable for their harmful behaviour
  6. Demand psychotherapy, rehabilitation and education for offenders of violence and abuse  
  7. Champion a supportive and caring attitude
  8. Listen to the experiences of women and girls
  9. Seek counselling and Psychotherapy services for issues of power and control
  10. Demand that political leaders and parties support equality
  11. Recognise and support anyone in a parenting role

In addition women can empower themselves to recognise when they or someone they know are being abused.

Women support Women

Unchallenged patriarchal societies perpetuate the kinds of attitudes that lead to male violence against women because they thrive on a need for power and control. Currently there is very little funding for the prevention of VAW. Interventions designed to challenge negative role modelling would give children the best outcomes for a secure and content adulthood where they are able to contribute to society in meaningful ways.

Karen Ingala Smith has the numbers on how many women have been murdered by men to date.  Counting Dead Women | Karen Ingala Smith.