Dialogues

When I’ve done everything ‘right’ and I’ve always tried my best, why hasn’t life turned out the way I wanted it to?

People come to therapy for lots of reasons. Often, it’s because they’ve hit a point in life where they realise that despite their best efforts, things just haven’t panned out the way they expected or wanted and they’re wondering whether there is more to life. Sometimes it’s because a partner has left them or betrayed them, and sometimes it’s a case of ‘I have all this yet I’m still not happy’, ‘I’ve given everything to my career and I don’t feel fulfilled’, or ‘I have given so much in my relationship and got very little in return and along the way I’ve lost myself’, or something else along those lines…

What I’m saying is that usually there’s some crux point or realisation that can’t be unseen and it’s usually around midlife… some used to refer to it as the ‘midlife crisis’. There is sound evidence for it being a real point in life where it’s now or never and change feels inevitable. It’s also usually when children have grown up and/or left home and there is more space to think and reflect and wonder what’s next. But it can be any time when the sense of unease, dissatisfaction or comparison creeps in.

What we are really talking about here are the unconscious ways of being and behaving in the world that determine the career paths we take, the partners we choose and how we feel about ourselves. Amongst other things. These core beliefs drive the decisions we make in every aspect of our lives. And until those unconscious motivations are brought into consciousness, they will run a person’s life and what that means is we will keep doing what we have always done. Regardless of whether it still works for us.

This is where therapy comes in. It’s fair to say that the events of your life are your ‘normal’ and it’s possible you think nothing really much of your experiences growing up. Maybe your parents divorced when you were young and you’ve told yourself “other people have it worse, we still had food to eat and we saw dad every other weekend.” Just because others have it worse and just because divorce is especially common, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have an impact on the young developing child. That’s just an example but maybe you see what I mean. When I’m working with clients I’m interested in how they adapted to their early life challenges, in other words how they coped with life at that age when things changed and felt difficult. Who supported them and how were they supported. And what did they believe about themselves because of those happenings.

That doesn’t mean we have to be defined by our early lives and that’s the whole story but it can give us some idea of the level of upset that may have needed to be offset and from there we can start to piece together the unconscious drivers and decisions and maybe even the script we have lived our lives by up until this moment of conscious awareness and we can then make links between those decisions and the choices we have made.

This is all pretty hypothetical of course but hopefully you’re still with me and maybe it’s giving you something to reflect on for your own personal growth.

Therapy can help you gain awareness of the unconscious beliefs you have unknowingly been holding on to and once you have gained awareness you can begin to decide on which of those beliefs are in need of an update. Because if we never do that, we will keep on making the same decisions based off of old beliefs about ourselves concluded from the things that happened in our lives as children. When you have the awareness you can make a decision about how you want to be in the present as the adult you are now. You don’t ever need to change anything if you don’t want to, but at least if you know you can choose.

The other thing to consider is that until you’ve done the work on yourself to uncover your core beliefs it is likely you will continue to repeat old patterns of relating. You see, i believe we see as we are which means if we don’t know our triggers we will continue to remain triggered and react rather than respond and this can make relationships very complicated and difficult. We all have a unique way of experiencing and seeing the world and those around us based off of our early life experiences of ourselves, our carers and our life experiences. So If we have unresolved trauma, triggers and sensitivities will rise up and determine how we relate and react. And we will attract people who show us those aspects of ourselves. So the little girl who is used to a cold and distant father will find familiarity and comfort in a partner who is similar as opposed to loving and supportive. Having to suppress the true self to stay in relationships and work hard for love is a pattern many people barely realise they are doing until they have therapy.

Food for thought maybe…

So there are usually really deep reasons why we do the things we do, whatever that may be. Behaviour is just the presenting symptom of deeper unmet needs.

Every evening at around 6pm UK time we post a journaling prompt to our Instagram. Here is the link if you want to join us: @dialogueslife_

Journaling is a great way to reconnecting with yourself after a busy day of jobs, duty and competing priorities, re-claiming yourself and what’s important to you means prioritising a little of what you need to feel more yourself. Coming back to yourself gives you the opportunity to discover who you were always meant to be before all the decisions that helped you cope with the life that happened. It’s about making positive changes to create more of the kind of minute-by-minute joy you can feel grateful for in the here and now.

Join me every evening at around 6pm UK for our time to pause, reflect and re-connect with ourselves.

The future of therapy practice.

One for the professionals among us.

I love it when something pops into my consciousness that really makes me stop and reflect. For quite a while now, through the process of posting these blogs I have been working hard to communicate exactly what we do here at Dialogues and why. Sometimes successfully and sometimes not! I just read a description of how I feel about therapy and the reason I founded Dialogues and why we do what we do. Amazing! Reading this has touched me so greatly that I wanted to share it will all of you, my lovely connections who follow us on social media, who are considering us for their therapy journey and those of you who are already our clients. This passage was written far better than I could ever hope to write by Brian Spielman so I am including it verbatim here, with a link to their website, it’s called The Academy of Therapy Wisdom Academy Of Therapy Wisdom and for the professionals amongst us looking to challenge and grow further, take their personal and professional development deeper, you may be interested in some of their teachings too.

Here goes:

“Dear Jo,

For the past two years, we’ve been witnessing something unsettling in the mental health world.

It feels like our field is splitting into two very different futures at once.

Future #1: Therapy becomes more scalable, tech-enabled, and increasingly corporate.

Chatbots are offering emotional support at 3am. AI tools are writing notes. Private equity firms keep buying up therapy practices and treatment centres. Large telehealth companies are optimizing for efficiency, speed, and shareholder returns.

Not all of this is bad. I spent time this past week recording a podcast with Paul Hoard, who teaches at Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. He developed an app so students can practice their therapy skills before stepping into real sessions, without the agreeable bias of most AI apps. These tools solve real problems.

Therapy remains inaccessible for millions. Waitlists are long and costs are out of reach for many. Clinicians are burned out from documentation, insurance battles, and large caseloads. If AI can ease some of that load and help more people get care, that’s fair.

I suspect more therapists will start using AI the way accountants use software, or doctors use better diagnostic tools. It can remove friction and free up time. One reason we create the Wisepractice.io platform.

And there is another future emerging at the exact same time.

Future #2: People are starving for something more human.

Brené Brown has talked about how isolating modern life has become.

Despite all the tools we have for connection and gathering (iPhone, WhatsApp, Signal, Zoom, Uber, no one is stranded at home anymore), we are more hungry than ever for connection and meaning. So much of life has become synthetic.

Even our bodies are full of microplastics, and an NPR report yesterday described how ultra-processed foods and environmental chemicals are disrupting our gut microbiome in ways that may be fuelling the rise in colon cancer, especially in younger people.

And the algorithms of social media keep us addicted for hours. At least that’s been my experience.

Over the past few months, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with extraordinary teachers, with the purpose of bringing this wisdom to you.

I spent four days filming with Hedy Schleifer and Paul Browde for their upcoming program on elderhood. I left feeling deeply moved by their warmth, humility, and hard-earned wisdom. Their presence itself felt medicinal.

I spent time with Grandmother Flordemayo, one of the 13 Indigenous Grandmothers, and was reminded that eldership is not something that magically appears on your 65th birthday like Medicare. It is cultivated through a lifetime of devotion, service, humility, and practice. Plus a lot of trial and error.

And we’ve been working with teachers like Staci Haines, who keep reminding us that healing is not merely individual. We are also living inside larger systems that shape our nervous systems, our relationships, and our sense of what’s possible.

These experiences leave me wondering, what exactly can be automated without losing human connection?

Information? Absolutely. Scheduling? Of course. Documentation? Hopefully.

But can AI transmit wisdom earned through suffering?

Can it help us feel what it means to sit beside someone who is about to take their last breath?

Can it embody the steady nervous system of a therapist who has spent decades learning how to stay present with pain without turning away?

Can it replace the mysterious healing that happens when another regulated human nervous system sits across from us and quietly says, I’m here with you?

I don’t think so.

In fact, I suspect the opposite may happen.

The more automated therapy becomes, the more valuable deeply human clinicians will become.

Therapists who know how to create genuine connection.

Therapists who understand trauma not just as a diagnosis but as something held in our bodies, families, institutions, and communities.

Therapists committed to both study and embodiment.

Therapists who understand that healing often requires meaning, spirituality, community, grief work, and practices that cannot be reduced to an app.

If you ever doubt your edge, remember what Hedy reminded us: 93% of communication is non-verbal. How will AI ever compete with that?

This may be one of the greatest opportunities for conscious clinicians.
Not to compete with technology, but to become more fully human, to deepen your craft, to protect the soul of this profession, and to offer what machines cannot offer.

Presence. Discernment. Wisdom. Embodiment. Love. (Did I miss anything here?)
Those qualities may become increasingly rare, and at the same time increasingly needed.

Perhaps that is the strange irony of 2026.
The more therapy becomes automated, the more people will hunger for genuine humans.
With warmth,
Brian Spielmann”

Thank you Brian for sharing your thoughts on the future of therapy. I guess as a supervisor I notice how much platforms like Better Help are attempting to dominate therapy practice in the UK. Their algorithms compete for space and knock the usual directories Counselling Directory Counselling Directory – Find a Counsellor Near You and Psychology Today Psychology Today United Kingdom: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist off the top spot on Google making it harder for our own websites to reach clients directly. Promising therapists who qualified and experienced but only really enticing those who are new to therapy practice or struggling to get clients in any other way. Sorry, not sorry for being so direct. Rewarding them the more clients they see, encouraging burn out and offer little in the way of ethical practice and support when the shit hits the fan.

I think you can see how I feel, judgy maybe, but when a company offers one thing and delivers the opposite and they are working with vulnerable people, I take issue with that and challenge the ethics of the practice and I won’t stay silent about that.

This blog isn’t to hate on Betterhelp or tech. It’s to tell you about our difference, and what we offer. Because we are passionate about how important that is. Plus we don’t have a waiting list currently.

We all need to feel seen, heard and as though we are important enough for someone to make the effort to try and understand our world and how we feel about ourselves in it. That’s what we do at Dialogues. No catch, just kindness. At a cost you can afford. And we have therapists, really exceptional therapists, who want to work with you.

Whether it’s professional to professional or professional to client. We have something for you. Try it. Self-refer by emailing me and take the first step. talktodialogues@gmail.com

How to support a child or young person with their mental health

(2min read)

If you’re a professional- either therapist, social worker or teacher we have workshops for you, please visit the relevant page on our website.

Are you a parent, carer, close relative or friend of a young person who is struggling with their mental health?

Do you hate to see them struggle but just don’t know what to do to help them?

We get it. It can be really hard to know what to do and how to support them and very distressing to witness the struggle and to feel helpless. We also understand that parents aren’t always the people our children want to talk to. For a variety of different reasons children and young people don’t always want to talk to the adults in their life. It’s no reflection on you if that’s the case and you’re the parent. If you’ve been through a challenging time as a family for example it’s natural that a child may try to cope with their feelings on their own. But this is often where anxiety, self-harm and eating issues come into play. It’s more common than you may realise.

We work with children and young people all the time as they work through some of the struggles they are facing today. Children these days are growing up in a very different world with more pressures on them than ever before. Lisa is our young person practitioner and she can work with your child or young person on building self-esteem, emotion regulation and understanding emotions. When children and young people learn to tolerate and verbalise what they are feeling and they are met with support and understanding trust develops and children can begin to settle.

We also support parents of children and young people struggling with mental health, through groups and sessions where parents and carers can learn about the causes of mental issues in young people and crucially how they can best support them. The single best way to support your child or young person is to work on your own mental health. We can help you do that. Get to know your own triggers, learn to understand your own feelings and learn to communicate with your young person and encourage them to talk to you. Kids love it when they realise we are working through things as well and for some people this can be a lovely way of connecting and strengthening interpersonal relationships.

If you or a young person or child in your care would find it helpful to talk to someone skilled and experienced, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. In these cases, time is of the essence and the sooner your child gets support the better. There isn’t the perfect time to reach out and we are all different but when left, mental health issues generally get worse rather than better and young people have so much life to live, we want to help you get them back on track.

Self-refer today by emailing talktodialogues@gmail.com

So how do you know if you’re ‘doing’ therapy right (and what may be going on in your therapist’s head when you ask that question?)

(5-minute read)

This is a question I get asked sometimes by clients and I am really glad. It opens up the opportunity for me to enquire with the client about what’s going on for them. And what I mean by that is that I am interested in what’s driving that question.

“But what if it’s not that deep” I hear you say. Well, good point. But what if it is…

On the one hand it could very well be about the cost of therapy. The thinking may be: “Am I doing this right because it’s costing me a heck of a lot of money and I don’t have enough of it to waste it so I want to get the most out of it”.

I am really aware that for a lot of clients we see; whether finances are tight or not particularly; it’s a stretch for them to spend money on themselves. Which again, on the one hand, if you don’t have it to spend it’s going to mean clients are budgeting heavily to be able to do it. But on the other it possibly suggests a lack mindset or an inability to justify the investment in the self which suggests a possible feeling of a lack of self-worth. Either way clients want to see results fast to be able to justify the money spent, and we understand that. That’s why we offer therapy at all different price points and we offer concessions, and we carefully assess whether we can help you get to where you want to be.

But what if it was that deep…

For me this also suggests a core need to get things right and that makes me wonder about where that comes from. It speaks to what I might term a ‘Driver’ (Tabi Kahler). Drivers are so called because they drive specific behaviours and these are: Be Perfect, Hurry Up, Be Strong, Please Others and Try Hard. These drivers protect against the verbal and/or non-verbal internalised message about how a child might feel ‘OK’ or ‘NOT OK’ in the world and in the eyes of significant others, parents and caregivers for example. According to this theory, being ‘OK’ is the optimum position we are all striving for. So, we might say that Drivers allow us to feel ok. But this also means that we are only ‘OK’ when we are seen to be in that driver behaviour and either: being perfect, trying hard, hurrying up and doing everything as fast as possible or being strong and solving our problems on our own. I find the latter is a big one for anyone who has been to boarding school, parentified daughters of emotionally unavailable mothers and boys who grew into men who were raised to not show their emotions.

So going back to the original question posed by the client, as their therapist I might wonder why they have asked me that question, I would ask them and explore that with them, and there will be layers to it and all of the above may be applicable in varying degrees. But it does suggest a need for acceptance from me and sometimes clients want to ‘be a good client’ and ‘get it right for me, rather than themselves. And there’s the work because the optimum space for us to be working together is one where both client and therapist are equal and in an ‘I’M OK, YOU’RE OK’ therapeutic relationship. As a therapist and supervisor I am always looking to correct any power imbalance because I want to provide clients with a ‘corrective’ experience, one where they don’t have to be perfect, be seen to be trying really hard all the time (burn out!), being strong- they can allow me ‘in’ to support them, and they aren’t only ok when they’re pleasing other people and forgetting about their own needs and doing everything at top speed (hurry up).

In therapy I work with the core needs of the individual which is always to be seen, heard and understood for who they really are by significant others. Clients usually come to me because they have relational trauma. That is, trauma from their patterns of relating, often set in early life. In this case, an internalised message that they are only OK if they are doing everything perfectly. The problem comes when life doesn’t pan out as they planned and the client interprets this as a sign that they are not perfect and that creates internal collapse and psychological distress.

So, as you’ve gathered this simple question from the client really makes me curious. And if I’m working with a client long term I will be very much working with the internalised drivers of behaviours along with the” Injunctions” (Golding and Golding) or the ‘Don’ts’. And these are: Don’t Exist, Don’t Be You, Don’t Be a Child, Don’t Grow Up, Don’t Succeed, Don’t (Do Anything), Don’t Be Important, Don’t Belong, Don’t Be Close, Don’t Be Well/Sane, Don’t Think, and Don’t Feel. Maybe I’ll write more about those in another post…

I guess what I really want to say is that I believe it’s ok to seek reassurance in therapy, part of reaching out Is about being willing to develop trust with a new person and sometimes as a therapist I need to provide the structure on which the client’s self-trust can grow. The first step to that is creating an environment where the therapist and client can develop a trusting therapeutic relationship, and this alone can take some time. And if you’re asking me such a vulnerable question such as “am I doing this therapy thing right”, I know it’s important to you and I can assure you that it’s ok to bring what ever is important to you for discussion in therapy because therapy isn’t only about what’s being spoken about (the content) it’s about sitting in the space that we create together, feeling seen, feeling heard and feeling accepted unconditionally by me, a fellow human being who is making the effort to understand your perspective and see the world through your eyes. And from there I can help you make sense of how you internalise what’s going on and what it all means to you.

I know therapy is an investment, of time, money and faith and we here at Dialogues want to help you get to where you want to be as soon as possible. So ease yourself into a space where you can begin to be open to the feeling of being accepted (which can be challenging and confronting in itself) and trust yourself that even though coming to therapy and facing yourself is going to be tough sometimes, you can trust yourself to know if you’re in a therapeutic relationship that feels as though your best interests are front and centre. And a really good way of finding that out Is to ask questions and listen to how you feel about the response you get.

If you’re interested in doing any sort of therapy work, coaching or personal development our therapists are here. We are exceptionally skilled at connecting and attuning with our clients and we are certain we can help you through whatever it is you’ll be bringing.

Email to self-refer to the therapist of your choice: talktodialogues@gmail.com

By Jo Wood, EMDR trauma therapist, Clinical Relational Supervisor and Psychotherapist for adults, couples and groups.

Ready for a Spring clean for your mind?

Around this time of year, we can begin to lose the momentum we had at the start of the year and motivation for wellness goals begins to wane.

Our single session therapy is popular at this time of the year because it can offer new insight, a refreshing focus on what you want to achieve or, if you need it, hold you accountable so you can keep those ‘new year, new you’ resolutions going for a bit longer so they become second nature and just something you do.

Single session solutions focussed work involves a particular style of practice that may be best suited to clients who have one goal and one focus in mind for the session. For this work our therapists will ask you specific questions and we will help you to find a solution for yourself so that you leave the session with clarity, a clear direction and the motivation to complete actionable steps we create together in session.

So If you’ve noticed there’s something going on in your life that you just can’t get to grips with and maybe you’ve read some self-help books, but you just can’t get to the bottom of what’s going on, then maybe what you need is someone to help you to understand and resolve what’s going on. Sometimes we need a person who has ‘fresh eyes’, someone who can view things a little differently and help us to see what we aren’t seeing. Sometimes what we need is just to be heard in a confidential space, that goes without saying, and other times we absolutely do need solutions. These sessions are especially good for neuro divergent clients who would benefit from coaching and help to create helpful rhythms.

In some cases, we know we need to make a change, but we just can’t make it happen long term. Unconscious processes and automatic urges take over and once again, before we know it, we find ourselves doing the thing we know we shouldn’t be doing! Then our self-esteem takes a hit because critical thoughts creep in.

If what you’ve read so far sounds like something you’re experiencing, it could be helpful to explore with a professional what’s going on. Often there are other, deeper feelings under the surface that are outside of consciousness influencing our behaviour. And it really is only possible to explore this with a skilled and knowledgeable professional.

Getting to the heart of what’s going on is important because nothing will change if we remain led by our unconscious impulses and urges. You’ll just keep doing what you’ve always done. The brilliant thing about the brain is that with helpful guidance it is possible to change the way we react to stressors and instead, respond in a mindful and measured way.

So, if you’re ready to accept the challenge, we are waiting to hear from you. And we can help you understand what’s going on and make lasting, positive change.

Finding a therapist in 2026

(5 min read)

Looking for a therapist is a daunting process, and whilst you’re browsing the various marketing directories online, most of the therapists will tell you they empathise with the process of finding us. They won’t, however, necessarily tell you how much therapy they themselves have had, what their training entailed exactly and how many client hours they have to date. This is all crucial information, and clients don’t know it’s ok to ask this for one, and secondly, clients can’t be expected to know how crucial these factors are when choosing their therapist.

The trouble is that counselling and psychotherapy is still largely unregulated in the UK and anyone can call themselves a counsellor. What you also might not know, is that once qualified, there are very few paid jobs for therapists and most qualified therapists, newly out of college are forced into private practice with little experience as a therapist and only the support of a few peers and their supervisor. This is just about OK if the therapist has life experience, experience of running their own business in the past and a wide support network of other experienced and qualified therapists to lean on. Most therapists rely on their membership body, in our case- the BACP for support if problems arise, but many under experienced therapists will struggle to know how to deal with issues in their therapy practice when they occur and have little support.

Why I believe therapy practice in the UK is flawed:

Here at Dialogues we think the current state of therapy practice is flawed. We know that trainees and newly qualified therapists are expected to work with clients who are far outside of their competency. We believe that it is unethical to expect trainees and newly qualified therapists to work with complex clients. And we believe that newly qualified therapists need more support when moving from training into clinical practice. We at Dialogues are different. We are raising the bar for placement services, and we are influencing the way trainee therapists are supported as they develop their skills and confidence. We are leading the way in ethical practice for trainees in clinical placement and we are optimistic that with the incoming PCPB categories of competency (AKA SCOPED) all therapists will have to work within their current competency and placement services will have to adhere to this.

What this means for clients is that with the additional clarity provided by PCPB, clients will be able to select a therapist with the training, ongoing CPD and experience that is the best fit for what they want to work on.

Currently a therapist fresh out of college or Uni, with only the basic training and no specialist knowledge is able to charge clients the same per hour rate as a therapist with 20 years’ experience, accredited status and a higher level of qualification. We don’t think that’s fair to clients.

Why we are so different:

Here at Dialogues we agree it is important to make the selection process clearer for clients. We understand that specialist knowledge and experience come at a cost. And we know it is important to offer clients choice. Our trainees have been selected because of their skills and expertise prior to beginning their counselling training. We select therapists with a very specific skill set and natural empathy and curiosity that they extend to their own therapeutic process and clinical practice. Our trainees, newly qualified therapists and professionals are building their experience by working more broadly with clients whilst developing their own style of working. All our therapists are supported internally by senior therapists and externally by supervisors who are all invested in achieving the best outcomes for our clients and our therapists.

A highly experienced therapist triages incoming clients and matches them with the most appropriate therapist and our clients also have a choice and will work with the therapist that is best aligned to work with them for as long as they need.

SO, If you’re looking for a therapist in 2026 here are the top 3 things we think would be good to do:

Shop around. Have an initial conversation with at least 3 therapists so you can get a real sense of what therapy with them will be like. Ask questions. I know this sounds challenging but truly, relationship is everything and you’re making a big investment in yourself.

Here at Dialogues we take the time to talk with you and explore what it is you’d like to work on, then we talk about which of our therapists will be able to best help you on your way.

Questions to ask on first enquiry:

When did you qualify?

How many clients have you worked with/ clinical hours do you have to date?

How often do you have Supervision?

Why did you become a therapist?

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, a good therapist will hold boundaries around anything personal (i.e. wont over share!) but they should all be able to answer those questions.

Have an idea of the qualities you are looking for in the therapist: clear, straight talking and boundaried/ warm, nurturing and attuned/ a combination- something else, like specific experience. An experienced therapist will know their own style and the kinds of clients they work best with. They will also be able to talk about their approach and what inspires them.

Negotiate a fee that is affordable to you should the work continue long term and notice how you feel about discussing important subjects such as these with the therapist. Whilst it may not be an easy conversation, it is important to be open when discussing difficult subjects, if the therapist you are speaking with is open to those conversations, then it could be a good start to a healthy therapeutic relationship.

At Dialogues we believe it is the therapeutic relationship that underpins all the therapy work we will do on ourselves regardless of where we are in our therapy journey. This goes for therapists looking for therapy, supervision and mentoring as well. All our therapists are committed to the highest levels of personal development work, and it is because of this that we are able to form robust, effective, supportive therapeutic relationships with clients and help them to achieve the personal changes they are looking for.

If you think we can help you along in your therapy journey, then please get in touch with us today.

talktodialogues@gmail.com

Our Story

(5 minute read)

Much like many other therapists, my own experience of therapy influenced my decision to train to become a therapist and specifically work with relational trauma.

If you have relational trauma, the experience of working with a therapist can give you the opportunity to feel what it’s like to experience a secure attachment to another person. A secure attachment is really important if you want to go forward and have healthy relationships with other people in the future. Therapy can offer a corrective experience and one that teaches you about your potential for positive growth and achievement in all areas of life. It brings hope for the possibility of contentment and joy, because if we can experience the world and the people in it as safe then we can go out into the world and explore and learn about ourselves through our experiences with confidence and resilience. To be with someone who is able to consistently give their time to listen and help you understand yourself can be a very powerful experience. It helps us realise our worth and it enables us to seek relationships with people that remind us of our worth. As opposed to relationships that reinforce our lack of worth or that we are in some way unlovable. As well, a therapeutic relationship can teach us that we can change what isn’t working because we are adults now and we will be ok. We no longer have to over adapt and change ourselves or discount our needs in favour of someone else’s in order to keep hold of the relationship. It is possible to create a life that is worth living.

My therapist came via recommendation more than 20 years ago. They were 40-minutes away and could only see me in the evenings, which wasn’t ideal for my circumstances at the time, but they were a good fit so I had to make it work. I paid for childcare, drove the distance and deposited a carefully decorated little brown envelope in their hand at the end of each 50-minute session. Paying them was a gift to myself that symbolised a greater commitment I was making to myself. As well I felt immense gratitude, this person was willing to share their valuable time, energy and wisdom with me.

That was the beginning of my long and winding, sometimes bumpy, relationship with therapy. Through the offering of the core conditions, their innate wisdom and their human ness, I was able to process my pain. After a time I began to feel an inspiration to use that pain in the form of empathy to grow and develop professionally, realising the extra empathy I gained through my lived experiences could create a greater feeling of purpose in life for me. I now know it’s that extra empathy that allows me to connect with my clients in a way that helps them to feel seen, heard and understood.

Dialogues was born out of a desire to work alongside like-minded therapists who all complement each other, but I also wanted to support trainee therapists in the development of their skills. If trainee therapists feel nurtured, they can learn and grow at their own pace, in a properly and ethically safe environment. We are different to other therapy organisations because we assess our clients fully and carefully before we allocated them to a therapist. This means clients can be assured they are working with the therapist who is best placed to work with them because of experience and skills, and our trainees know they won’t be pushed too fast and too soon out of their comfort zone, building confidence along the way. This ensures safety in the therapeutic work for both the client and the therapist.

Dialogues exists because as human beings our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we will ever have and the stories well tell ourselves about the world around us and the people in it have a profound effect on how we live, what we do and what we can achieve in our lives.

Dialogues therapists work at various price points to suit all budgets and we all accept clients on a concession basis because we don’t want finances to be a barrier to accessing support. We work both in person and online and across all time zones so if you’re not in the UK that’s no problem for us. Our therapists offer single session, short term solutions focussed or longer-term work and we are sure we can allocate you to a therapist without much of a wait. Sounds too good to be true doesn’t it, but it isn’t.

Life doesn’t always have to be difficult and there are people out there who are genuine, safe and caring. Our sessions are boundaried, professional and non-judgemental because our therapists know what it’s like to have lived through the curve balls of what life can throw at us and between us all, there isn’t much we haven’t seen or heard and helped someone through.

If you think we may be able to help you, the first step is to send an email:

talktodialogues@gmail.com

We look forward to hearing from you. For more information, visit our website:

Dialogueslife.com

Creating closure for yourself

People come to therapy for all sorts of reasons and I suppose this time of year makes me think about all the folks out there beginning 2026 in a new place, or a place they hadn’t envisaged.

I’ve spoken recently here about the pain of endings and loss and feelings of grief because life has changed. Those feelings are especially hard when we see others around us seemingly living their best lives, but we are going through something that feels very hard. Coping with emotions and beginning a new phase of life, in a new year can feel particularly upsetting and daunting. The year is stretching out before you and maybe you feel the unknown is scary and you’re doubting your ability to move forward.

For anyone who has experienced the heart ache of a breakup, even if they made the decision, knows how hard it can be, to move on with life and re imagine a future let alone recreate one out of the ashes of what’s been before. Whilst the year ahead will undoubtedly be full of opportunities, the unknown can feel scary and uncomfortable, full of uncertainty and we can doubt ourselves.

Endings don’t always come with clarity and full understanding and when people come to me with these sorts of experiences, I often hear them say they need to be given some sort of closure to be able to move on. Whilst I understand this feeling, giving our own personal power away to another person means that person has the power to determine how you feel, what new decisions you make and how you live. If that’s the case, we will always be at the mercy of other people’s moods and whims and we will never truly be living in our own autonomy.

The minute you give someone else the power over you to determine how you feel you’re living a conditional life dependent on needing the approval of others.

Sometimes closure comes in the form of the behaviour that caused the break up in the first place, or your decision to sit with the difficult feelings, truly process them and really do the work for yourself on understanding who you are and what you need.

We can, if we choose, create our own closure which might look like making conscious decisions to change what isn’t working because we owe it to ourselves to live, breathe and exist in the world equal to all others. Closure is acceptance, and reflection on what the experience has shown you about ourselves.

Moving on and creating your own closure is the greatest act of self-love and self-care you can give yourself. Honest reflection isn’t easy and often it’s painful, but the therapy space is somewhere where you can embark on this journey with respect, support and guidance, process what it is that’s causing you difficulty and make different choices going forward.

Message us today if you would like some help, we have a therapist waiting to see you.

talktodialogues@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram:

@Dialogueslife (If you’re a therapist)

@DialoguesTherapy (if you’re a client of ours)

We look forward to seeing you soon!

January 2026.

New beginnings

We have moved! We are very excited to welcome clients to our new therapy space, we are still just as central and as easy to get to as we always have been and if you’re a current client of ours, we want you to feel right at home in our new space so we’ve kept things as similar as possible!

I have been thinking a bit about what it means for us here at Dialogues to embark on a new operating phase and what I’m most pleased about is that we will be able to serve the community with even better and more exceptional therapeutic and wellbeing offerings. We are now able to offer both in person and online sessions with most of our therapists, but be sure to check that out. One of our therapists also offers Walk & Talk therapy so if the great outdoors is your thing, then we can meet with you and offer you space whilst enjoying the fresh air too.

Here at Dialogues we believe excellent mental health care should be available and affordable to everyone who is looking for it and that’s why we offer a range of therapeutic services and an affordable fee scale, with no limitation to the number of sessions you can have and no compromise on what’s going to work for you.

If you’re a client considering finding a therapist, do feel welcome to view our ‘About Us’ page. This page will provide an outline of each therapists’ skill, experience level and their fees. Our therapists operate a sliding scale of fees and offer a limited number of sessions at a reduced cost so please do mention it if you think you’ll qualify for a concession, please note there may be a wait for a concession space, but it is always our intention to not keep you waiting indefinitely on a list.

If you’re a qualified therapist, we will be offering group supervision sessions and CPD trainings and workshops both in person and online. We start in February 2026 with our full day in person workshop on ‘Working with clients who self-harm’- Email for more details and the confirmed date.

If you’re a parent or carer to a young person who is struggling, we will be offering support groups and opportunities to meet with us and other parents with a shared lived experience. Finnd the support you need in others who understand what you’re going through.

Last but not least! If you’re an exceptional trainee and you’re looking for a clinical placement in a private practice organisation that offers structure and nurtures and supports it’s trainee therapists please email Joanna Wood and ask for an application pack. We accept only one new trainee per academic year and should you be successful at interview, you will have the opportunity to develop your skills within a safe and ethical private practice benefitting from monthly group supervision sessions with other therapists of varying levels of experience. After you’ve achieved your qualification, you may be offered the opportunity to stay on with us and graduate to Newly Qualified Status where you will continue to see weekly clients, you will be paid for your work, and you’ll further grow and develop your skills.

For the latest information, view the relevant page on our website, email talktodialogues@gmail.com or follow us on Instagram:

@Dialogueslife (If you’re a therapist)

@DialoguesTherapy (if you’re a client of ours)

We look forward to seeing you soon!

Warmest wishes, Jo

Grief and loss

Sometimes people come to therapy because life has changed in a way that was unexpected, resulting in a feeling of being lost, out of sorts and out of control. Maybe you’re facing a situation and a future you hadn’t envisaged. It’s understandable that this would be challenging.

Maybe the changes you’ve gone through mean that you’re alone- maybe for the first time in a long time, maybe you’re feeling lonely- unsure of what to do with yourself and how to function in your new reality.

You may be experiencing feelings of grief and loss. Those feelings aren’t only limited to the death of a loved one. Bereavement affects all of us at some stage in our lives and whether it’s the loss of a job, a partner, a relationship, a parent, a past version of yourself, a future, your health. It can be helpful to talk about it with someone who will listen and help you find a way through.

Here at Dialogues, we are experts in helping clients through hard times and times of grief and loss, no matter the cause. We understand how scary it can be to have to re-imagine life in new circumstances and we get what it is to mourn something that hasn’t worked out as you thought it would or hoped it might. It’s very natural to have conflicted and complex feelings that make it difficult to know what to do, how to be or who you are anymore.

Allowing yourself to feel your feelings is easier said than done, because sometimes we feel that if we ‘go there’, we might break and become completely overwhelmed, rendering us unable to function. We’ve also often got really good protective defence mechanisms in place, and that can make it a challenge as well but if you can set time aside with someone whose sole purpose is to support you confidentially and with boundaries, it is possible to move through the difficult times whilst processing all the feelings.

If you think you could use some help then please reach out. Boundaries and ethics are at the heart of what we do as therapists here at Dialogues because your emotional safety is what will underpin the therapeutic work we will do together. We are on hand and ready to be alongside you so that you don’t have to struggle through this time alone. Our therapists have experienced some of what life can throw at us and we have been trained to listen to you. We do this work because it’s our vocation and we are also on a journey to know ourselves better. We know what it’s like to feel like life is falling apart. We’ve weathered the storm and we want to show you that you can too, the important thing is that you don’t have to weather the storm on your own.

If you’d like support, whether that’s in person or online, send us an email today.

talktodialogues@gmail.com